This morning I asked God, “What does forgiveness look like, God? Show me a picture so I’ll know.”
I was thinking it would be the sun or a peaceful sky, or an image conveying warmth, quiet, and peace that I’ve often felt when I’ve forgiven someone. But before I could finish the question, the Lord showed me an image of a white lamb in my mind. I realized that the images I thought were forgiveness were actually a byproduct of forgiveness: peace.
If I waited until I felt like forgiving someone, I would never have forgiven anyone thus far in my life. That’s just me being honest. Afterall, what they did to me was wrong. Culture says forgiveness is a sign of weakness and gullability. But my bible says I am commanded to forgive, as I have been forgiven. There have been times where I’ve had to wake up everyday and forgive certain people for days, weeks, and years, until I finally meant it, released them, and experienced peace of knowing that the oppressive unforgiving weight is GONE. And there have been time where the devil has tried to bring it back to me- to cut open the healed places in my heart, and I’ve had to say, “NO, I forgave that person and left that at the foot of the cross. I’m not picking it back up.”
Why am I talking about all of this? Last night the Lord let me see someone I didn’t ever care to see again. I believe it was a test or a litmus to show me how he’s changed my heart over the past four years. A person from my past caused me immense pain, mental torment, and suffering. And in that moment of seeing him, rather than reflecting on the past hurts, all I saw were his hurts manifesting. And I’ll use the same words that I could see in his face: immense pain, mental torment, and suffering.
Hurt people hurt people. What I had been blind to in my past was SOOO obvious now. The truth is, I lived most of my life with hurt. Most of the people in my circles experienced some measure of deep hurt too. Perhaps the hurt things in him resonated with the hurt inside of me, and albeit toxic, there is comfort in the familiar, whether positive or negative. All I know is in that moment, all I could feel was pity for that person who made my life a living hell. All I could do was pray that somehow Jesus would break through his hurt and heal him so that he could experience freedom and peace, and so his latter days would be better than his former days.
Forgiveness doesn’t come natural to us. It’s why we needed a teacher to demonstrate forgiveness to us.
Some of my thinking and interpretation on forgiveness: Forgiveness is not holding sin against someone who sinned against you. Forgiveness is maintaining blamelessness instead of stooping into retaliatory acts. Forgiveness is staying unoffended so that you can stay free. Forgiveness is letting go of what hurt you even when they’re not sorry. Even when they continue to try to hurt you. Forgiveness is knowing that you’ve been forgiven when you’ve said and done unthinkable things under the eyes of a holy God who created you to reflect his glory.
If you’ve ever struggled with sin and forgiveness, you can look at others and hopefully see their sin struggles too- not from a place of judgement, but a place of understanding. While your struggles may be different than theirs, you can extend empathy and grace to them knowing what it’s like to overcome and grow through personal struggles. Take it one step further, when relationships are healthy, you can encourage them to continue to move toward a path of healing and wholeness in relationship with Jesus.
Forgiveness is a name: Jesus.
How did Jesus defeat death and Satan? By giving up his life as a ransom for many. So that we could all experience forgiveness and be restored to our Father. It’s through forgiveness that we can all heal. We can’t heal from anything if there is even a smidge of unforgiveness inside of us.
What did Jesus say while he hung in suffering on the cross? “Father, forgive them. They don’t know what they’re doing.” He was crucified for us and while dying, he was asking God to forgive! I don’t know about you, but for me that means that no matter how the actions of another have caused me pain and suffering- if Jesus can forgive his killers, I must forgive those who have tried to destroy me.
Forgiveness truly is the ultimate weapon, and the end goal is freedom from sin, death, and living a peaceful and blessed life. I would go as far to say that we cannot be strong and effective instruments for God in this earth if we have not been forged into a weapon of forgiveness. Not a weapon that inflicts pain, suffering, and takes lives.
He has chosen the weak and foolish things of the world to confound the strong and wise, so that those chosen understand that it’s not because of their own abilities (1 Corinthians 1:27-28). God will break us all down and build us back up into his likeness. A spotless white lamb, pure and innocent. Walking in forgiveness alongside our shepherd.
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